My Conscience

Apparently my conscience has learned how to text.  This is not a good thing.  First my regular conscience - the one inside my head - urges me to fold the laundry.  So I very obediently start folding laundry, when out of the blue I get a text from my conscience telling me to update my blog.  How weird is that?  It had only been about two minutes since it told me to fold the laundry!  So I texted back.  I said, "You just told me to fold the laundry.  I can only do one thing at a time.  Make up your mind!"  My conscience replied that my blog was more important than the laundry.  Hmmm.  Sounds suspicious, doesn't it?  Has anyone else's conscience been acting strangely lately?  Maybe the planets are misaligned, or something.  So weird....

And just so you know, Conscience, I folded four loads of laundry tonight.  How many did you fold, hmmm?

But just to keep everyone happy, I do have a funny story to tell.  At least I hope someone out there thinks it's funny...    But you knew when you came to this blog that I was a little different....

The other day someone knocked on my door.  I immediately recognized him as a salesman, but I do try to be nice to them as long as they're not creepy, so I invited him in.  Robyn and Emily immediately joined us because, to be honest, he was gorgeous.  Turns out he was from Estonia, and I was curious what he had come from Estonia to sell.  Turns out he was part of a program that brings college kids over to sell educational materials to help your kids learn how to read and do better in school.  I about died.  Talk about knocking on the wrong door!  I started laughing, and so did Robyn and Emily.  Poor guy, he was so confused.  I finally explained, "I'm really sorry, but we discourage that kind of thing around here."
I'm sure he thought he had misunderstood me.  His English was very good, but surely no mother would really say such a thing?
(Insert lots of giggling from Robyn and Emily all through this conversation.)
So I tried to explain to him that Jennie hasn't started Kindergarten yet and is already reading fluently.  He said he didn't see how that was a problem, and I said, "Yes!  Most people without this problem usually say that.  But it is definitely a problem."  I went on to describe going to the school to calm my child who was on the floor crying inconsolably because she was literally bored to tears and hated school after only one month of Kindergarten.  He still didn't look convinced, but he could tell I wasn't going to be buying any Beginning Reading Materials.  So he moved on to the Help Your Child Do Better in School Materials.  Once again I had to explain. I don't want my children to do better in school.  (If there was some kind of program for Advanced kids, then I would be in favor, but all we have now is teachers who don't know what to do with them and some who feel threatened by kids who are smarter than they are.  Besides which, I have yet to see any proof that being school-smart makes you successful in life. Not that I explained any of this to him.  I just said my kids were too smart already.)
By now he was sure I was the strangest parent in America.  But, to give him credit, he was not easily discouraged.  He went on to tell me about the great books they have.  And it's true, we do love books.  But we already have twice as many as will fit in our bookcases, and getting my children to do anything but read this summer has been a nightmare. (Did I mention that I just ordered glasses for a THIRD child?)  So once again I had to refuse, explaining that I was trying to discourage reading among all my children.  
He was very nice, and packed up his stuff to go.  He said he had been doing this for three years, and I was the first mother he had ever met who felt that way.  Nice to know I'm an original! 
Poor guy.